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New Poem: “modern life floundering”

motivation flounders gone
with brain that pounds
the hours down –
a blood that boils
in veins of ash
beneath a face –
silence lurks without a trace
in crevices that time create,
existence foiled –
no trace of happiness be found
with careless people all around,
all in the mess embroiled –

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Reality Check

Liberated consciousness,
self-realization –
not really.
Somehow realizing the “self”
always has consequences
for others –
preventing others
from realizing themselves.

Escape your comfort zone
(to boast about it)
forgetting in your haste
that your comfort zone
does not exist
in a vacuum
but overlaps the comfort zones
of those around you
whom you may not
have consulted
about the escape –

Your dream.
Someone’s nightmare.
What makes you think
your dream
is what’s more real?

Humans are flawed –
more so because they
ignore the real flaws
and invent other –
unimportant –
“flaws” they’d rather improve.

“Move fast and break things.”
Why is it
that I always have the feeling
of trailing behind
the rest of humanity
with a broom –
trying to tidy up
at least an inch-wide path
through the mess
you all leave behind
for future generations
to struggle through
or drown in?

I am Chiron –
I can make you feel better
about yourself
at the cost of myself –

I am Cassandra –
but wise enough to not speak
and only write
since most people
are too lazy to read
and even fewer
intelligent enough
to understand –
whereas if you speak out loud
everybody thinks they understand you
even though the smartest
only scrape the surface
of the words
obscuring meaning –

I am King Midas
(dressed as a woman)
with the exception
that I don’t turn things to gold
but to poetry –
equally impractical
but much less lucrative –

I would much rather be myself
but the rest of humanity
cuts the queue
and butts me out the way
declaring their right
to self-realization –
(it must be a lonely search -)
and I have not the arrogance
of humans
so I stay quiet
and write –

Stay in the heat –
Play the game –
Oh, I’d do it for inspiration!
But only because
your idiosyncrasy
makes for good poetry!

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Seen From a Distance People Lose Their Eyes

Seen from a distance people lose their eyes –
be that distance in time, place or thought –
and it is much easier to see someone that way
instead of seeing them for who they are.

It takes so terribly much effort to see someone
when they aren’t right beside you,
and preferably look and talk like you
and agree with everything you were to say.

So much easier to let them stay where they are,
well out of sight at a safe distance from you,
and let their eyes dissolve as well as other features
that might make them seem as human as yourself.

Seen from a distance no features can be discerned,
least of all the eyes (the “mirror of the soul”),
that could possibly convince you that they might
be worth getting to know; worth listening to.

And for our convenience in the 21st century
we have technology to make it so much easier
than before to blind oneself to anything and anyone
who doesn’t come in handy for you personally, right here and now.

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I Had a Vision

I had a vision
when I first browsed the web:
An open world
where information
was available to everyone –
information to improve the world.

Knowledge shared
and built upon.
passed on.

I thought; finally a medium
for everyone.

This must be the future.
And a future worth working on
(so I learned to code)
but I shouldn’t have been so sure…

I lick my wounds today
disturbed at the ugliness
I helped to access the world
full of unsuspecting prey.

I can say that I didn’t know
it could ever come to that
and it would be true, though –

The honest words might be
that I wanted to believe
in humanity
despite its apparent flaws.

I gambled
and I lost –

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I Have Been Torn

I have been torn
between the world and writing –
writing is demanding,
leaving little to the world
once it has been written.

But the world, moreover,
continues to enrage,
disappoint and sadden me,
so I have surrendered
at least momentarily –

I write my poetry –
all is back to normal.
This is constancy,
rhyme and meter,
thoughts and words
that I can speak with my fingers
though never with my mouth.

— |

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The Global Organism

A worldwide network – a pulsing nerve-cell transmitting its message to anybody, anywhere, anytime. A channel that automatically, intuitively knows how and where to transmit data – no matter who requested it and where they are, as long as they haven’t been disconnected.
It is not alive, and yet it is strangely sentient, and remarkably resilient. And it grows as we speak.
It was born in the mind of technicians, and live on by the work of engineers and programmers who love and cherish and nurture it. It has been proclaimed dead several times over, but it just refuses to care. It is here to stay. And so it stays.

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The Possible Connection

I am rumored to be a rather cynical person. In some ways it’s true. But when it comes to the internet, and its powers to connect people and share knowledge on a scale that is unsurpassed – I was all starry-eyed ideals to begin with.

I remember writing those first few lines of HTML code that is the foundation of a website, and looking at the result, heart pounding in my chest, as I realized that I had just published something that anybody, anywhere in the world could access – so long as they were connected to the network. It was a moment of pure joy; hope and the vision of a bright future where the world was interconnected in ways we used to only dream of. It looked like a dream that was about to become true, and I so badly wanted to be a part of it.

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Writing vs Programming

SInce I wrote my first line of code I have been torn between writing and programming. Torn between the code and the fiction. Felt that if I spent more time on one, the other would suffer. Desperately tried to balance them out, and felt exhausted and confused at the end of the day because I wanted to do both but just didn’t have enough hours in the day.
But in reality, that was a meaningless confusion. Staring myself blind at a distinction that doesn’t really exist, or need to exist.
What I initially failed to realize, is that programming is also very creative. And the process behind writing a program and – say – a poem, is actually very similar.

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Poetry Today – the Potential

There has been a lot of discussion about the validity of poetry in today’s society. A lot of good, although obvious, points have been made by poetry enthusiasts and poets who defend the claim that we continue to be creative and imaginative and thereby continue to need an outlet (ie: poetry), and that we always have, and probably always will, continue to explore the possibilities of various types of artforms. Being a poet, I do not disagree with these statements. I whole-heartedly embrace them. I have, however, noticed the lack of certain arguments in the debate, that I per se consider very basic and obvious, but which haven’t yet been put forward by another poet that I have heard of. Therefore this essay.

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Of the Increased Digitalization of Art

This is an important topic to address, and it is only natural that so many people have done it already. Technically it is unnecessary for me to add my thoughts to the lot, but since it is inevitably on my mind, I’ll do it anyway. The topic is of course what consequences digitalization has for art, generally speaking. And it is a large topic and difficult to address with any accuracy, but I shall endeavor. In order to do this I will necessarily have to express myself concisely, so forgive me for the slightly compressed nature of the following.

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Art Through Participation

In the past, art has been the work of one artist, and it has been supposed to conclude in a final ”work” that was unalterable and meant for display only. But times have changed, and they keep on changing. Today, there is no rule stating that art has to result in a “work”. Technically, art can be an ongoing process. The internet has made it possible to get feedback faster and from a much wider audience, and the artists who use this venue for publication could easily use it to expand on their work over time, and change it according to the audience’s wishes. Technology makes it possible to change the perspective, the means and the goals of art altogether.

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