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New Poem: “I reason – with myself -“

I reason – with myself –
where reason – may hide –
I seek out – an answer –
but answer – with pride –
and I see – no remedy –
for what’s now – a fight –
but I did not – want this –
I wanted – what’s right –

A human – I’m human –
and I make – mistakes –
but who cares – it’s gonna –
unfold – anyway –
I won’t be – forgiven –
remembered – with spite –
humans – forget all else –
after – one fight –

I can’t make – amends –
I will fail – if I try –
since now – you remember –
just this – just the fight –
so after – all else –
what remains? – just goodbye… –

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New Poem: “introspection”

chaos in and out of everything –
cringe my way out of my skin –
turn it inside out to hide
behind the way i feel inside –

squiggle into my cavern of truth
examine the scars others left me –
leaving the gore for the world to see
as i wait for rebirth and youth –

vomiting out of my shell again
when safety prevails – so never –
a womb of quiet and contemplation –
a world lost – for now – forever –

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New Poem: “delayed outburst results in -“

i understand
an outburst from me
must seem unfair to you –
it’s like training a cat
not to pee on the floor,
if it happens long after
it happened
the cat gets mad at you
and learns nothing at all –
perhaps i should’ve said
how i feel
when i actually felt it
and everything was real
instead of waiting
ten years and boil over
when you least expect it –
but that’s what happened
and that’s what happens –
i kept it in and kept quiet
for too long
out of mistaken family feeling
that now feel wasted –
perhaps because it was –
so i might as well waste it
or what’s left of it
by not apologizing
for not doing wrong
but simply voicing my feelings
after too long –
if you can’t or won’t understand
it proves that you never knew me –
which is exactly what
i protested against –
you’ve proven it to me –
blame me all you want,
the original fault was with you
although you’ll never see it
no matter what i do –