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New Poem: “drawing out meaning”

landslide, mud that rush through mind
and falls out of mouth –
breathless rumbling noise
wallows in itself,
aroused by thought –
sticky mud that drips,
a putrid smell that lingers in the air
when silence regains hold
and everything
is said –

it can’t be washed away,
the fetid layer of my feelings
stick to everything –

i drag a stick through the mud,
i try to draw out meaning
and retrace its origin –
all i achieve is a pushed button,
thumbs up,
‘what a great drawing!
could you draw me as well!?’ –

it’s all the same,
it’s time to start over
all again
and always in vain –

draw it out so that
the mud can’t slide, kept down,
locked up and viable
as inspiration – never smellable
to anyone else than I,
and never as beautiful
as when presented for admiration
on a canvas –

and the irony when people say
they like it, they relate to it, and
always
“can you draw me too!?”

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