were i alone tonight
i’d drown my sorrows one by one
and cry out what was left
until there wasn’t
any left of me –
i’d let myself feel free
for a few short hours
until the sickness set in
again –
were i alone tonight
i’d dive into the past and
i’d dissolve in tears and alcohol –
i’d swim back in time
and revisit a childhood
i’d rather forget
though it never forgot –
instead,
i’ll act adult and do
what i must do
to maintain a semblance
of normalcy –
the tears are always there to cry
it needn’t be tonight –
at least i’ll try –