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New Poem: “drunk thoughts in the dead of the night -“

sleep eludes me –
night’s no pleasantry –
night holds dangers
to the mind
that can be avoided
during the day –
night brings things to light
that are better left in shadow –

three o’clock, morning light
creeps through blinds and wakes me
from the waking sleep –
tomorrow ruined in advance
and who’s to blame?
everyone’s to say it’s me
regardless of my reasons.

but sleep eludes me
and in its place
is an endless abyss of loss
and human misery –
memories i cannot shake
and feelings i wish i never felt
and never knew the cost of –

morning will come and
i will still be here –
with dark rings under my eyes
and a smile ready as disguise
as frail as always –
but always in place
regardless –

the whole world is only about
staying alive and keeping face –
whatever it takes –

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