I am a civilized woman, am I not?
A product of a state who never lets me go.
A product of millennia of development,
and paths that others had to go.
Then why does the darkness within remain?
The drive that makes me restless,
angry, fearful of myself
time and again?
Is this the best that I can be?
A clenching fist that never gets release –
a thousand angry thoughts
that no amount of words can ease –
A core of smoldering darkness
unseen within –
a hand stained red
with paint
from a canvas torn in anger
at my failure as a human being –
Why is that I can’t get to express
anything worthwhile to anyone –
the silence, the civility
it only feeds the darkness
it festers deep within
yet still remains unseen by everyone –
The breaking point –
I don’t know where it is
since I am weighed down by society –
all I do know
is that there is
such a thing as too much civility –